"A True Friend Will Stab You in the Front." - Oscar Wilde

Do you need a spoonful of sugar to help your medicine go down or do you prefer to hear things straight? No sunshine blown up your bum?

I usually speak the unpleasant truths, and I want the the same in return - even when it's ugly; however, sometimes being able to keep your tongue is the measure of true friendship.

If you have dinner with "Sally" and she tells you that "Karen" said you looked a mess the last time she saw you, is that a necessary truth to bring back to me? What good would come of that honesty? Some might say that it would indicate that "Karen" isn't a good friend because she was speaking about me negatively, while others would speculate that it speaks to "Sally's" character. It is probably a little of both. We all speak out of turn at times and we all talk when we shouldn't - none of us are without fault.

Chances are really good that I already knew that I was a mess that day, and telling me that a friend mentioned it is likely only going to:

a) hurt my feelings;

b) cause friction between me and "Karen";

c) make me question the motives of my friend "Sally" for delivering the message;

d) all of the above.

So don't be a "Sally: and certainly don't be a "Karen".

Be that honest AF friend. The friend that takes that information, seeks me out, checks in, and says, "What the fuck is going on with you?" especially if I still look a mess.